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WANTS

Just read………..

What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.” – Chuck Palahniuk

Sometime it really amazes me to find that there is someone else too, who wants the same things as me. Even if we both are completely different. And we both don’t look towards each other, we both are looking towards two parallel road that can never meet. In aloneness we all are not alone.

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My guitar weeps!

Is guitar a difficult instrument to learn? My fingers pain when I practice and I am really feeling pity for my pinky finger. My guitar weeps when I touch it and he is very sad to know that there is not even melody in his cry, forget about his happy laugh when I thought I would be playing him someday on a stage. After every second, I need to remind myself, “No, I won’t give-up”. Where is my beginner’s luck?

And song in my mind is

I look at the world and I notice it’s turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps

Weirdo me!

Is there some craziness in air? Or only I am behaving weirdly these days? Time is changing and my life is becoming more exciting. Don’t know why God is in a mood to give me  surprises. And guess what, everyone is coming to know what a weirdo I am!

  • You get to meet your crush in office pantry and deep in his thoughts you come to your cube. Picks-up your water bottle and again go to pantry to fill it. Not bothering about anyone and completely in his thoughts, suddenly your friend comes from behind and out of surprise does “Bhoooooo”. You get scared and shouts like anything. Everyone stands-up from their cube and starts looking at you. (Gosh! what a scene it was when whole of the floor was looking at me! )
  • You are late for shuttle and in a hurry you take away comb (remember I have big-big sized comb) and hold it in your hand to later to keep in bag. Amazed by the scene as to why everyone in shuttle is looking at your hand, you realizes that you are still holding the comb thinking it is mobile.
  • One day you realizes increasing waist line and it becoming a tire. You finally join yoga classes. After few weeks the instructor tells you to do Shirsha Asan, a head stand posture and your legs are straight-up. And not-to-mention, yoga instructor is kinda shy. He somehow helps you to do it and when you gain that posture, your loose t-shirt starts to fall down. And when your skittish instructor sees your belly (I should thank God that T-shirt didn’t come down further), he shyly goes away from you. You can’t lift your shirt-up in that posture and  can’t come back again to normal posture.

Click!

Do you miss your blogger friends?

I just realized how much I am attached to people in this virtual world.

  meri aankho se dekho
  meri nazro se jano
  tum mala hum moti
  hum deepak tum jyoti
  ye naina ye kajal, ye julfe ye aanchal
  khoobsurat si ho tum ghazal
  kabhi dil ho, kabhi dhadkan, 
  kabhi shola, kabhi shabnam
  tum hi ho tum meri humdum
  zindagi tum meri, meri tum zindagi

DESIRES

And what about those desires that creeps into your heart when you sleep

With morning sun-rays, they then dance with every thought in your mind

and sometime in just a blink, they lock themselves in deserted heart corner

as if they are naked and don’t want to be seen by those strange alien eyes

Sometimes these desires make you to mingle with sane dirt

And wants you to fly above as if they are in love with colors of rainbow

They see themselves in sparkling reflections of dew drops

And wants you to grab love of every sunshine

And again in night when you go to sleep

These desires makes you to realize

“you still breathe”

~neilina

Death

And when I imagine myself lying dead

sleeping forver

with silken feathery cushy earth

and those grasses over me

dancing with my rhythmic soul

How I miss then

all those forgotten songs that I can’t sing

and

all those words that I still want to hear again and again

Soothing tree shade makes no sense

and

dance of first rain seems to have lost in transparent drops

All I see is painted in vacuumed black

and color blindly appears to be meaningless sinister

I wonder

How it feels not to feel happiness

and pain of abundant zillion tears

I, a sleeping forever soul, thinks

how to love you when I die

and how can I give my touch and feel

Heaven,

wait for me!

I want to live here, may be forever

Sometimes I wonder…..

God must have loved so many things when He created the universe

And I just wish if I could find them in Heaven too!