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Hopefully this time I will stay longer……what if “longer” would have meant “forever”!!

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Naked

Is it wrong to get naked in front of GOD?

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Mine

he is someone who spiritually grounds me, personally uplifts me; a man I stand in awe of and respect; a man I want to rip the clothes off ; a man who makes me feel appreciated and perfect just as I am!

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Realizations – Trust

It doesn’t make much sense if you are trustworthy, it makes more sense if you can trust someone.

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Am hating this….

Seriously, I don’t know how it feels to be in love. I have labelled myself as “in a relationship” or precisely you can say, “I am in love”. And guess what, am feeling it is worst of thing. Suddenly, I am feeling to have so much expectations from someone. And I have started behaving like a typical girl. I am fighting for not calling me, for not giving me attention, when he is spending so much time with friends, when he is chatting with someone and not replying me. I am feeling dam insecure and more of it scared. After having in relationship, I don’t know what actually I want from someone. He is arguing with me saying that he thought I was different. And I am just like another girl. Aren’t girls want to be the most important part of someone’s life? And if they are, why it is not shown to them?

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Realizations

  • How hard I try to forget people who had once crossed my life. Seems I got used to the fact that no one can be with you forever, its okay that people come and go. You have to move on.
  • And sometimes I feel so lonely that I don’t have memories of people also to cherish. And sometimes I feel so scared to think about people that remembering them I will again land-up somewhere. Just the thought of remembering them scares me.
  • I will be turning 29 this May! running 30! single, unsuccessful, lonely, disturbed! I never expected and what I expected from life, I myself don’t know.
  • I find myself so vulnerable and in need of love. I know somethings you shouldn’t do but still even knowing all this I can’t make myself not to go to some direction.

 

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My guitar weeps!

Is guitar a difficult instrument to learn? My fingers pain when I practice and I am really feeling pity for my pinky finger. My guitar weeps when I touch it and he is very sad to know that there is not even melody in his cry, forget about his happy laugh when I thought I would be playing him someday on a stage. After every second, I need to remind myself, “No, I won’t give-up”. Where is my beginner’s luck?

And song in my mind is

I look at the world and I notice it’s turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps

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