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Archive for the ‘love’ Category

One second is just enough to make you realize how much you have missed the thing. Few seconds past, I opened my old blog URL and yeah, I miss to write, I miss to write about my life, I miss my blogger friends and I am realizing how much I may miss if I don’t write now.

Today is last day of the month (realized after getting sms that my salary is credited :D) and thought to capture the whole month in one blog post.

  • I met my “Blogger friend” and it was one of the best meet. It was as if we know each other since long and we talked and talked sitting in our favorite restaurant, the place which we had decided long ago in chatting. There was then a wonderful trip planned. Our jokes of chinnu driver, fevicol jokes, shinning water and our pujas with all crazy poses….each and every second was filled with fun. Thank you Life! Friendship just ROCKS 🙂
  • I found myself again going into spiritual world, a world all together different where you just want to cuddle inside of you not bothering about anyone. My second level Reikhi classes started. I am feeling my body is becoming sensitive to energies. Sometimes a sort of current runs inside body and you just want to be alone and want to think about some white light. A part of you is there that wants to take something and a part that wants to give something.
  • This Neilina has changed so much. I hate now to be in love. Feeling of love makes me to feel as if I am in some prison. As if someone will make me to fly high where my heart will choke and unable to breathe, I will die. So many proposals have started coming and suddenly I am realizing that there are just two kinds of people – men and women and they only can have a relationship called love. This love is making me to lose my good friends. 😦
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A LIE!

Are the clouds shinning in this crisp morning

even when the sun is not here to brighten me

and I know my clouds are in dull grey color

or

Is the life bestowed with beauty and endless joy

even when you are not here sitting besides me

and I know some moments are meant not to have you

either way

Hope is alive; smiling with every breath of mine

and clouds shines with solitary ray meant for ‘us’

making life to exhale certainty of its own existance

and

Within the certainty in billionth of a second

holds the truth of thousand unsaid warm promises

that your life has touched me somewhere

even when I know you always think……

I am just a Lie.

~neilina

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I never imagined You!

I never imagined you

with lips in shades of blue

where spasmodic laughter

has lived zillion times

and

with those wrinkles circling your eyes

eyes that still hold the thrill of radiance

of early morning sunshine from pines

I never imagined you

with a heart of tickling heartbeats

that cloaks all joy of zillion daydreams

daydreams not of you, not of me, but of ‘us’

and

with those crimpled hands

that still holds all the secret promises

mesmerizing our eyes with golden twilight

I never imagined

those cheeks, blenched beneath freckles

as if love is curling-up in the softness

and then flying away into indigo clouds of night

But I imagined…………….

me in-front of you

lying there lifeless

And

I imagined

every tear

falling tenderly upon my heart

burning the flame

may be of love’s radiating brillance

And then ……………………..

I stopped imagining

Me without You

~neilina

P.S. For the prompt “One Single Impression”. Poem is about the impression left by the imagination!

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Love…………….

How do I get love? I have it. I must drop my definitions of love. Love is not saying nice things to people or smiling or doing good deeds. Love is love. Don’t strive for love, be it.

All my life I have made it complicated, but it is so simple. I love when I love. And when I love, I am my self.

“All I want is to be loved” – Wanting to be loved, to be lovable, is not really a desire for how I want to be, but for how I want others to be.

~Hugh Prather

P.S. – Pics from my PG! ‘Clouds before Rain’. (Bangalore, 7:25 pm)

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I hate love now!

Sometime love can make you slave, even of yourself. It tangles you so much into unnecessary and absurd feelings that the words from other people tangentially goes through. It makes you emotionally weak. And specially when it is a matter of first (lost) love, some people simply like to dip into it forever and they don’t realise that it is a cagey mirage. They can’t see outside world where someone is eagerly waiting to hug and love them.  This all is sham to them.

Why people are so weak and can’t gather enough strength to overcome their feelings when they know that these feelings of lost, first love is spoiling the lives of four people. Sometimes I feel like to hate love!

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For You!

When I call you

polemic

you argue with me

telling me to give

reasons

When you know

I hate to give

reasons

always making me

to go down

and drag out

that meaning

when that meaning

crushes everything

everytime

When I tell you

lets make things

simple

you scoop out everytime

making everything

unbalanced

telling me about your

fight to end complexity

for simplicity

And I tell you

complexity

can bring together

simplicity

And when you see

dancing me

over your digged past

you always leave me

not knowing

my dance is just amiss

waiting for your steps

not knowing

my mysterious dance

is just an endeavor

to create simplicity

just to have You!!

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………..Sometime I think is it so difficult to give meaning to a relationship when it is there in your life. Why can’t the meaning just appear by the presence of a relationship? And how long one takes to give just a pinch of allude to a relationship?

………….Somtime I think, what if…..what if you would have thought like the way you always want. Sometime, I think what if …..you would have imagined me……me with you! Why is it so difficult to finish one-sided story when that story is linked at every moment to just one person.

………….Sometime I feel I am in some dream and with a feeling that my heart is saying your name only, doing things to give you a glow, our laugh that is filled with happiness. I fear what if……..what if, one day I will open my eyes finding myself all alone. But what a dream is……..that has no hope! But what a dream is….if it is fulfilled! I just pray that my eyes never open and if my dream has to end, let it end into another one.

………….Sometime I think…………………………….

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