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Archive for September, 2009

Yesterday I had a long chat with D. D is my PG mate’s love.  And now because of community and caste difference, D’s parents are not allowing him to get married to P (my PG mate). And after all the family drama D has finally decided that he would sacrifice love for his parents. Their relationship continued for seven years and finally it is getting over. One thing that is bothering me like hell is the life of the girl who will get married to D. D is dead sure that he would never allow another girl to take P’s space. Till now he has seen seventeen girls and whenever he has gone to see a girl, always the face of P has come in-front of him. He can never ever give his love to another girl and all his love is for P.

My cousin got married day before yesterday. He decided to go for marriage after his love story with another girl fizzled out. His thoughts about another girl is same as D. When he had gone to see the girl (like a perfect arrange marriage) and finally said yes, he felt like he himself has done murder of his love. And no-one can occupy that space, no-one can get his love, no-one can fill his heart because all the things are meant for his lost love.

And finally, V’s story is somewhat similar to this.

I sometimes feel why someone lands into marriage if they are not sure of giving all their love and care to the partner. Why they don’t think about the girl who would land-up in their life? Do they have right to play with another’s life? And what-if after marriage they still are continuing their talk with their lost love and bluffing in-front of the girl who has landed in their life. These relationship are very pious to me.

Marriage is not some boat that you need just to sail through the river of life. You don’t deserve this boat if you can’t take care of the boat in the difficult times, if you can’t give your love like wave kisses the boat and you really don’t deserve it when you yourself is making a hole for boat to sink into the river.

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A LIE!

Are the clouds shinning in this crisp morning

even when the sun is not here to brighten me

and I know my clouds are in dull grey color

or

Is the life bestowed with beauty and endless joy

even when you are not here sitting besides me

and I know some moments are meant not to have you

either way

Hope is alive; smiling with every breath of mine

and clouds shines with solitary ray meant for ‘us’

making life to exhale certainty of its own existance

and

Within the certainty in billionth of a second

holds the truth of thousand unsaid warm promises

that your life has touched me somewhere

even when I know you always think……

I am just a Lie.

~neilina

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My Dear Blog!

GONE???? not for long

My dear blog, I am so sorry. I guess it has been so long since I came here and kissed you with my words. I really missed you and all my dear friends. I don’t want to give an excuse but really I don’t know how ‘few’ days away from you muted into ‘many’ days. And I way I am, little distance always makes my heart to give excuse not to come back. But finally, I have come back. Even if I don’t print my footsteps on time, it doesn’t mean I am not here. You are always in my mind, even if I am hiding (from myself); may be for my transition period. Love ya, my blog! ~~Hug me Now~~

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YOUR DREAMS!

Silently when you gaze at grey clouds

holding breath as a bird soar through the clouds

Secretly I look deep into your eyes

to steal ashy, lifeless, sinless dreams

And when you see me hiding them

You come near to me and say

‘Give them Life, Paint my Dreams’

I wonder if you know every of me

I wonder how you imagine me

I wonder if I am your imagination only

I paint your dreams with utopian love

reckon every dream with my breath

And when I come near to you

to keep them again into your eyes

to ablaze your soul

I can only see your closed eyelids

And then I whisper slowly

try to go through little opening of eyelids

But you never open your eyes…

I lay there besides you

waiting for eternity

Just tell me once,

when will you open your eyes for your dreams?

~Neilina

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