Am here once again…..

Hopefully this time I will stay longer……what if “longer” would have meant “forever”!!



Is it wrong to get naked in front of GOD?


he is someone who spiritually grounds me, personally uplifts me; a man I stand in awe of and respect; a man I want to rip the clothes off ; a man who makes me feel appreciated and perfect just as I am!

It doesn’t make much sense if you are trustworthy, it makes more sense if you can trust someone.

Seriously, I don’t know how it feels to be in love. I have labelled myself as “in a relationship” or precisely you can say, “I am in love”. And guess what, am feeling it is worst of thing. Suddenly, I am feeling to have so much expectations from someone. And I have started behaving like a typical girl. I am fighting for not calling me, for not giving me attention, when he is spending so much time with friends, when he is chatting with someone and not replying me. I am feeling dam insecure and more of it scared. After having in relationship, I don’t know what actually I want from someone. He is arguing with me saying that he thought I was different. And I am just like another girl. Aren’t girls want to be the most important part of someone’s life? And if they are, why it is not shown to them?


  • How hard I try to forget people who had once crossed my life. Seems I got used to the fact that no one can be with you forever, its okay that people come and go. You have to move on.
  • And sometimes I feel so lonely that I don’t have memories of people also to cherish. And sometimes I feel so scared to think about people that remembering them I will again land-up somewhere. Just the thought of remembering them scares me.
  • I will be turning 29 this May! running 30! single, unsuccessful, lonely, disturbed! I never expected and what I expected from life, I myself don’t know.
  • I find myself so vulnerable and in need of love. I know somethings you shouldn’t do but still even knowing all this I can’t make myself not to go to some direction.


November Ramblings!

One second is just enough to make you realize how much you have missed the thing. Few seconds past, I opened my old blog URL and yeah, I miss to write, I miss to write about my life, I miss my blogger friends and I am realizing how much I may miss if I don’t write now.

Today is last day of the month (realized after getting sms that my salary is credited :D) and thought to capture the whole month in one blog post.

  • I met my “Blogger friend” and it was one of the best meet. It was as if we know each other since long and we talked and talked sitting in our favorite restaurant, the place which we had decided long ago in chatting. There was then a wonderful trip planned. Our jokes of chinnu driver, fevicol jokes, shinning water and our pujas with all crazy poses….each and every second was filled with fun. Thank you Life! Friendship just ROCKS 🙂
  • I found myself again going into spiritual world, a world all together different where you just want to cuddle inside of you not bothering about anyone. My second level Reikhi classes started. I am feeling my body is becoming sensitive to energies. Sometimes a sort of current runs inside body and you just want to be alone and want to think about some white light. A part of you is there that wants to take something and a part that wants to give something.
  • This Neilina has changed so much. I hate now to be in love. Feeling of love makes me to feel as if I am in some prison. As if someone will make me to fly high where my heart will choke and unable to breathe, I will die. So many proposals have started coming and suddenly I am realizing that there are just two kinds of people – men and women and they only can have a relationship called love. This love is making me to lose my good friends. 😦